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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 08:10
最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 08:10
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We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Once you\'ve written TBicycle, you never forget how.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
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Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
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I think \'Hail to the Chief\' has a nice ring to it.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn\'t over until everyone gets their cookies.
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Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
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When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
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If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
A man can\'t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
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Three o\'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
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It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
If you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
I\'m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I\'ll waste no time reading it.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
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Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It\'s about Russia.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Marry me and I\'ll never look at another horse!
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
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A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
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A man\'s only as old as the woman he feels.
You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there\'s no risk of accident for someone who\'s dead.
I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
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There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
I don\'t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
War doesn\'t make boys men, it makes men dead.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called \'Ego\'.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
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Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
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I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
It\'s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that\'s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
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There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
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I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
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Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
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An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
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A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said \'no\'.
The truth is more important than the facts.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
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I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it\'s because they\'re such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
I\'ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Why don\'t you write books people can read?
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
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You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It\'s about Russia.
But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
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In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
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When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
A man\'s only as old as the woman he feels.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
I don\'t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Outside of a dog, a book is man\'s best friend. Inside of a dog, it\'s too dark to read.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
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They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I\'m going to miss mine by just a few days.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
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Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I\'ll waste no time reading it.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
If you haven\'t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, \'cause if they couldn\'t, they\'d have to wake up to the fact that life\'s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can\'t seem to keep up is they\'re a bunch of misfits and losers.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
Love is the answer - but while you\'re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, \'cause if they couldn\'t, they\'d have to wake up to the fact that life\'s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can\'t seem to keep up is they\'re a bunch of misfits and losers.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
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There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
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I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:28
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